Iman Shumpert, Amare Stoudemire, Carmelo Anthony

Knicks On The Oregon Trail

Iman Shumpert, Amare Stoudemire, Carmelo Anthony

Over the past decade, Knicks fans have grown to expect the worst when the Knicks head West. There is no feeling more sickening than casually watching the end of a Knicks win on MSG, slowly talking yourself back into the team, and then that upcoming schedule graphic appears from the depths of hell…5 games out west. Mike Breen usually comments on how critical it will be for the team to salvage just ONE win if they can. And it seems impossible. Year after year the Knicks have had at least one west coast debacle. But this? This has been a completely different animal.

It is no surprise the Knicks are playing Portland tonight. Indeed, the road trip has quickly turned into an uncanny impression of the Oregon Trail.

Perhaps the only difference between this Knicks team and pioneers on the Oregon trail is that pioneers could travel to Portland with a family of ten, raise six generations, briefly return to east to deal with some other familial matters, before heading back to Oregon, faster than the Knicks get back on defense.

But I’m not even talking about the the 1850, Go West Young Man, Manifest Destiny Oregon Trail. No, the last two games seem to be loosely based off the 1997, third edition, Your-Entire-Family-Died-of-Dysentery, computer game The Oregon Trail.

In two 30 point losses to the Warriors and Nuggets, the Knicks missed more shots than a first time OT player on a hunting mission. The only explanation for the lack of energy these lethargic Knicks have displayed is Gatorade squeezed from poisonous berries, and the only explanation for the crap the Knicks laid all over the court these past two games is a team wide dysentery epidemic.

Oh. And in case you didn’t realize, the players are dropping like flies. Amare’s knee continues to be the root of all evil. Melo’s knee has forced him ( mercifully) off the trail and back to NY. JR’s knee is supposedly banged up as result of taking a knee (not a joke) from teammate Kenyon Martin. Of course the most recent devastation occurred late in the second quarter last night when our rock of a center crumpled to the ground clutching what else, his knee (Seriously knee gods. What did the entire city of NY ever do to you???). While it appears that Tyson’s injury is not as bad as being helped off the court by teammates often suggests, for the time being it’s a crushing blow. One cannot even fathom how an already atrocious interior defense WITH the defensive player of the year will be without him. His injury was as random and devastating as when you were informed that somehow, despite sitting in your house and doing nothing more than click your mouse, you had accidentally shot two members of your party, and your wife was somehow dying of typhoid. Oregon Trail indeed.

Granted, the Knicks are in the middle of a particularly trying road trip with twenty games to go. They may reach the promise land, but, for now, as the Knicks slump towards Portland, it seems they have lost their way and the wheels have fallen off the wagon.