March 2018
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The Gift of the Walking Bucket

A Christmas carol about the New York Knicks’ 11-percenter himself, Michael Beasley.

This season was not supposed to be a great one. There was supposed to be a lot of sorrow. Losses were supposed to pile up. A lot of Kazoo jokes were expected. Carmelo Anthony and the OKC Thunder were supposed to thrive and make the Knicks dumb yet again. Instead, the Knicks have given the city hope.

Kristaps Porzingis has elevated to a superstar most dreamed of, quicker than any of us could have imagined. Tim Hardaway Jr. has proven that he is a starter in this league and worth his contract. Enes Kanter and Doug McDermott have balled out to the point we have to start asking ourselves did the Knicks actually flip Anthony for optimal value. And then there is the Walking Bucket.

In the Knicks’ greatest hours of need, he has been there. When Timmy went down, a scoring drought was expected. Porzingis and Courtney Lee did the best they could, but they still needed help to close out the game. The Walking Bucket was there.

Melo’s return to The Garden was the biggest game of the schedule heading into the season. The Knicks had to win that game to move on. Carmelo has never won at Denver, and being allowed to leave NYC with a W would make the Knicks look weak. Porzingis tried his best to play but caution was the better play. How could the Knicks possibly beat ‘Melo, Russ and Paul George?

By relying on our true hero.

When the Knicks signed Michael Beasley there was either a collective groan from NBA purists or sarcastic champion talk from people who enjoy chaos. Instead we have been given the gift of a true New Yorker.

He was destined to rock the illustrious number eight for the Knicks. Beasley’s origin may be from Maryland, but his soul is that of a New Yorker.

His thoughts on the human brain are something you would hear on a 6 a.m. subway ride. His fashion sense is too woke for Fifth Avenue but fits seamlessly in Williamsburg. On the court, he also plays like he’s from the city. Forget those stupid threes, iso-ball and getting to the rack is what we’re about.

Only a true New Yorker would win a dunk contest with a beanie on:

He is the perfect blend of crazy and talented. When harnessed properly he can be a true asset. So far, Beasley has been the asset. During this stretch with no Timmy and scoring coming at a premium it has been Beasley who has come through in the crucial moments. There was the Thunder game without KP, but his Knicks moment came a few days later.

The Celtics came to town last Thursday. Porzingis played but was rusty, like 1920’s faucet rusty, he only scored one point. If I just told you that you would assume the Knicks got washed right? Not so fast. Once again in the greatest hour of need our hero came to save us.

Sure the 32 points definitely stick out, but Beasley did more. He pulled down 12 boards and notched one assist. If you weren’t aware, one Beasley assist equals ten real assists, so he technically had a triple-double in the comeback win.

The best gifts are the unexpected ones. So as you open your presents on Christmas morning just know the Knicks’ already opened theirs. He’s never going to be the star of the team, but he will never have to.

He’s not the hero the Knicks deserve, but the one it needs right now. So, we’ll drag his poor defense and shot selection, because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian of scoring. A watchful protector of the city. A Walking Bucket.

Staff Writer, The Knicks Wall • Ahead of the Spread • Hardwood & Hollywood • Heat Check Podcast


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