Drown your sorrows (responsibly) while watching the ‘Bockers with TKW’s new game with rules included.
The NBA season is almost here, folks! And you all know what that means: 82 games of orange and blue.
The offseason had been chock-full of ups and downs with Carmelo Anthony’s trade drama, Phil Jackson’s firing, and the annual overpay of free agents.
During the course of the season, we’ll probably hear the same regurgitated statements acknowledging the Knicks perpetually disappointing existence. So, how about we have a little fun with it this time around?
Knickerbockers and Knickerbockettes, I present to you the 2017–18 Knicks Drinking Game.
Play it during games!
— Put your life in the hands of a lottery contender!
Play it with your friends in NBA 2K18!
—Bond with your buddies before you cry yourself to sleep!
Play it on the L Train!
—The Knicks have enough of those to go around!
The 2017–2018 season probably won’t be a huge step up from the previous one, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have more fun.
So, without further ado, I give you the 2017 Knicks drinking game:
Take one swig for every “Clyde-ism” (e.g.: swishin’ and dishin’, huffin’ and stuffin’, boundin’ and astoundin’).
Take three swigs if someone calls Kristaps a “Unicorn.”
Take a shot if Ron Baker and these words or phrases are associated:
- “game manager,” “good motor,” “scrappy,” “plays the right way,” “basketball I.Q.,” “intangibles,” “won’t give you any problems off the court”
Taketwo swigs if the ‘Melo trade is mentioned, cheers and show respect, you ungrateful jabroni.
Finish your drink if Joakim Noah gets subbed in (trust me, you’ll need it).
Cheers and take a sip if Kyle O’Quinn takes the ball down court.
Trade drinks with your neighbor and pay them $70 million since we’re just throwing money around when Tim Hardaway Jr. scores 16 or more points.
Bong a beer when Porzingis slams a put back dunk.
Do a naked lap if the Knicks are up at halftime.
Huff glue when Michael Beasley says or does something completely insane:
I walked by Michael Beasley on the street today and he was wearing a wristwatch on his right ankle for some reason. THE KNICKS ARE BACK BABY
— Pablo S. Torre (@PabloTorre) September 21, 2017
Take a shot or finish your drink if Kristaps hits two three-pointers back-to-back.
Squirt a lime into your eyes if someone mentions James Dolan.
Shotgun a beer if any player has more than five assists.
Start a waterfall when Porzingis has two blocks and two three-pointers
Pour your beer on your face if Doug McDermott hits more than two three-pointers (Don’t worry, it won’t happen. Your carpet is safe).
Aaaaaaand that’s the Knicks Drinking game! It’s a fun, “safe” way to enjoy the season! Play it at your mom’s house! Play it after throwing up on the subway!
If you have a suggestion you’d like to add to the Knicks Drinking Game tweet it to my twitter handle: @DefinitelyNotTy.
— Ty Jordan, staff writer